Sketches

In the last post, some random people asked for sketches and assured our many viewers that this site rocks.

Hopefully this blog will help them decide that they want to experience this too, and go on shlichus to Russia. I may not write it much, but the fact is, shlichus here is amazing! We have an unbelievable community. I wouldn't go anywhere else in the world if you payed me (and believe me, if you payed me I'd be in a better off spot than I am now).

Another quick point: if you are reading this, we can use your help, and you get to see where your funds go. COntact me if you can or want to. My email: rabbizvi44 at yahoo.com

Anyway, to the diagrams. The first is a toe poking out of the bathtub.

___/\__________________________


Now, a question mark floating above the water.


?

_________________________________________________


And finally, the last (and best) diagram. Our pathetic shower head:


======п
H
H
/-\
!
!
!
!
!
!
!


?


Notice the question makr under the shower.

The water doesn't reach his head.

Bathing Russian style

Above is an old picture from before we had a washing machine.

Life was good then.

But life in Russia is no simple matter. A year ago we moved into a new apartment, which has its faults (Boruch Hashem we are moving again soon). The biggest problem is the water issue, which we tried to address immediately. But the plumbers explained us that the way it was built makes it unfixable without tearing apart the entire apartment (same goes for many plugs and light fixtures).

This meant that when we have water, only a dribble of cold water comes out, while hot water will blast out of it like Mount Vesuvius. Therefore, for the past year we were forced to resort to taking showers under limp spools of water like the old showers in CGI Montreal, in order that the hot and cold water should be evenly dished out.

About a month ago, the cold water stopped altogether. Since then, we have had to fill buckets with cold water from the kitchen, then even it out by pouring boiling bath water into it.

This is followed by getting a 'kvart', and then systematically pouring the warm water over our heads several times.

The rumors are true. I actually did come up with a better alternative method, which is currently under review for a Nobel prize.

What I have started doing is filling the bath with hot water, then adding a ton of cold water (this takes about 45 minutes to set up), then I shower in the bath if you get my drift. Lots of fun, the only downside is that I get to sit in my own guck for a half hour.

Easily solvable though. That's why towels were created.

Oddly, on Friday and Shabbos this past week, there was only cold water and it was blasting.

I hate Murphy.

One Day with our Misnaged is worse than 365 days with no hot water

Der Chossid, Reb Yid, Zvi Peretz Chershkovich Shlita

The Misnaged

Last night Zvi welcomed a guy at the airport from Moscow, Igor, who came to assess the situation as it stands in Stavropol. We hoped it meant that he would assess that Efim is not a good idea for the Jews of Stavropol and a new and better person should replaced him.


After speaking with the misnaged this morning, Igor came to our home where he was served a delicious lunch (if I may say so myself) and met with the Der Chossid, Reb Yid, Zvi Peretz Chershkovich Shlita. Harav Zvi made his Rebbetzin very proud when he said firmly and politely that we are no longer going to work with Efim ; he doesn't want Yiddishkeit, we do. He isn't trustworthy.


An hour later, people started to show up at our door just to get a word in on all the Tzuros and problems and personal harrasement they had with F-him (oops did i really just write that!?) . They were all young and cute and pretty. Well, not all but they really were a lively bunch. They wouldn't stop talking. Efim called a number of times in the middle but Igor, the dude, was conveniently never available.


Finally after a number of hours, Igot had to go back to Efim and speak to his guys about how the Rabbi gives no him no mula or respect and doesn't tell him about events ahead of time.


The dude, Igor, it seems, is not so clearly on our side as were sure of in the morning. He has been very neutral but to quote him as he left our house "the problem is a lot bigger than I thought..."


So, in conclusion, Chayale is a good cook, Zvi is a smart man, we have a stunning new apartment, and Efim is a misnaged. And the A"R said "The time spent with a Misnaged is so much worse than jail (Rashi: Soviet crumbling homes with no water)


So now we're hoping not that we kick out Efim - that'll take too much time and energy and could land us on our tuchesses big time- but that we reach an agreement that we will go our separate ways. May it be His will.

The Shul in Krasnodar

Just realized we never posted a picture.

Something for us to look forward to...

A day in Pyatigorsk

Pyatigorsk.

A beautiful, very European city, yet full of different characters which makes you feel as though you landed in Western Asia. Mountains can be seen all around it, including the 5 mountains which give the city its name. Mount Elbrus, the tallest mountain in Europe, can be seen in the distance, along with rest of the Kavkaz, which look alot like the Alps.

I traveled there today for just the second time since I've been here (the first was to visit Rabbi Shertil Shalumov, a mountain Jew, and the Rabbi of the city).

I was going to take the bus there, but then I got a good deal on a taxi (just 1500 rubles) and got a nice quiet drive in the comfortable seats of the car, where I lay down and slept.

The reason I was going was because of the Sachnut (an organization with a goal to deal children around the world about Israel, and eventually have everyone make Aliya. They employ locals to do the teaching). The guy in charge of the Sachnut in South Russia, an Israeli named Lev, was in Pyatigorsk for the day, and I agreed to meet him upon the request of Natasha, the very nice lady who runs the Sachnut in Stavropol, and has helped us many times during our rough patches and early days here.

The Sachnut of Pyatigorsk is located next to the city theatre, and I was picked up and brought to its spacious offices by Misha, their driver. There I met Lev, and we sat down to chat.

Basically he told me (some of this is not his words) that the Sachnut in Russia has also been hit bad by the economic crisis (several people have told me that they are closing shop all over Russia... virtually everywhere). He suggested that we rent a place together, or rather, that we rent a place, and Natasha would technically 'rent' a room or two from us, and use our place as an address for the Sachnut. He explained that the Sachnut's all over Russia are being asked to try and join with the other Jewish organizations in the city (which probably is very hard in other cities, considering all the built up animosity between organizations that vie for control, as is usual for Jewish communities around the world). They tried to work with Yefim (community president who has been giving everyone a hard time), but he refuses.

My opinion? first off, regarding the entire Russia, this is good for the Chabad Rabbonim around Russia, since most of their competition will be gone, allowing them to focus on their work.

As for Stavropol, I gladly welcome Natasha and would love to work together with her. Aside from the fact that she has helped us and is a genuinely kind and competent person whom the community adores, it is also better for the community. Yefim is probably losing his funding from Moscow (I won't get into that now, but it is good news, since he has only abused his power), and this means that all Jewish organizations are under one roof.

The community is bigger than myself (or rather, myself and Chayale). Yes, we are here to focus on Yiddishkeit, but the truth is that we cannot help everyone, and the more Jewish organizations that exist here which can offer services and simply be there for people, the better.

The advantages:

- We can reach out to more people
- Working together with her means that she will introduce us to the community and we will meet more faces
- Not only will our organization be completely kosher, but so will the Sachnut! (a condition of them working with us)
- At least the people going to Israel will know a little about Yiddishkeit
- Less stress in the long run
- Instead of focusing on who we are NOT, we can focus on who we are, and try to get a Synagogue going.

That's my opinion.

Also in Pyatigorsk, I put Tefillin on a mountain Jew (Lev had already wrapped himself up that morning), and spoke to the head of the 'Joint' of South Russia, which gives food to old people in Russia, and also wants to work together.

Now I'm back home. I cannot go outside tonight (not that I would) because the police called a curfew saying that there are dangerous people around tonight and everyone should be vigilant and stay indoors.

Stavropol.

From a real turkish newspaper

http://www.dunyabulteni.net/news_detail.php?id=60605

See the second to last picture.

Help a child with leukemia

Alexander Feldman, 2 years old, has cancer. Boruch Hashem it isn't bad, and is easily treatable with chemotherapy and vitamins. But his father Denis, a member of the Jewish community of Stavropol is out of a job, and now literally has no food to put on the table.

I want to raise enough money to get the child through the year, and to do that I need to find someone who can give an 11,500 dollars donation.

Anyone know of anyone?

The picture is of Denis and Alexander.

My little brother makes it (somewhat) big

http://chabad.info/index.php?url=article_en&id=13242

Chaim's bed

Just a picture.

Governor Gaievsky's Jubilee

This past Thursday was the new governor of Stavropol Krai's birthday. His 50th birthday, hence his 'Jubilee'.

Ari Edelkopf, shliach to Sochi, shared this information with me, and suggested I send him a card and a gift.

At first, I decided not to do this, since I wanted to deliver the Menorah I have for him personally, but then we found a wonderful present given to us by friends in Montreal who were in Israel... A Chamsa with Birkas Habayis on it.

So my secretary bought a big card, and we wrapped up the Chamsa in a nice gift bag that we had bought in New Jersey.

We deliberated alot over what to write. My suggestion was:

"Esteemed majestic and honored governor may you live to 120,

Congratulations on your Jubilee! I'm sure you know that the word 'Jubilee' cmes from the Hebrew word 'Yovel', in which every 50 years all land was returned to it's proper owner in ancient Israel. Therefore, in recognition of YOUR Jubilee, we request the return of the Stavropol Synagogue to it's proper owner."

Unfortunately, my plan was vetoed, and you can read above what we eventually wrote.

We brought it to the 'Duma', and dropped it off with a Jew who works in the governors office, and prmosied to give it to Mr. Gaievsky.

The worst thing about shlichus in Russia

Here's a picture I found from last years Chanuka event for the kids.

Being a Rabbi in a Russian city is difficult nowadays, and for many reasons.

- Barely any kosher food
- Anti-Semitism is occassinally tangible (and swastikas are all over)
- The closest Rabbi/friend is a 5 hour drive
- Your entire family and most of your friends are in a different time zone
- With the current economic crisis, we are barely funded
- We must leave every 3 months for at least a month (it's impossible to get residency)
- Any peulos you do are taken for granted
- In order to survive you must learn the art of bribery

But the worst by far, the hardest thing about Russian shlichus occured this past shabbos, when we had an entire family over for the meal.

I had met the teenaged son over the internet, and he had assured me that his mother was Jewish from 'her mother' (meaning that the family were Halachic Jews).

When I called them to invite them, I found out that they also had a daughter of preschool age. Now I was really excited. A teenager and a little girl!

Friday we both prepared for the meal. Chayale made one of the most delicious dinners ever (including a dessert that was out of this world), and I prepared a bunch of Dvar Torahs.

They came, and we had a wonderful time. Singing, chatting, telling over some words of Torah. The family was totally normal. They were obviously well-off, and enjoyed the meal.

We were really excited that we had found another Jewish family to introduce to the community (they didn't know there was an established community here in Stavropol).

But then as they left, the mother gave Chayale a hug, and in middle of thanking her, told her that only her father was Jewish!

This has been eating us up since.

All that effort...

Like father, like daughter

Karkafta at the airport

As reported before, our luggage (including over 500 dollars of refrigerated food) was left in Moscow on Wednesday night.

And what an ordeal. We filed a report, and then came home. Thursday we had people calling them all day, until we found out that I had to fly to Moscow to get our stuff.

We started planning to book a ticket, and even thought about making a short fundraising trip in order to reimburse for the trip and perhaps pay for Chanukah. However, I was really sick (see last post) and not looking forward to the trip. Also, it would mean transferring and lugging 7 huge bags to a different terminal alone.

Firday morning good news came. They might fly our luggage to Min Voda but we'll have to pick it up. When will it arrive? at 2:00 (which leaves 2 hours left til shabbos starts. Min Voda is a 2 hour drive from Stavropol).

I went to the notary to officially give permission for a goy to pick up our stuff (I'm not into taking risks), and he set off for the long drive (which we paid for).

Side note: a sign of Russian bureaucracy was the NINETEEN stamps on the notaries table (I counted them all). She used 5 of them on my document.

Friday night the dude didn't show up with our luggage. At 2 AM our door rang, but no one came upstairs.

Shabbos day to our surprise Viktoria (our secretary, who always has shabbos off), showed up. She told us that we ALL had to go there in person.

By this time we were certain that it was all probably ruined (the meat, cheese and fish).

So Sunday we set off, all 4 of us sick, in 2 cars. One driven by Oleg Bogopolsky, the other by Refoel Khaimov, a mountain Jew (he's a halachic Jew, his wife isn't. And he's the guy who drove me ever yom kippur to the freezing ice cold mikva in the mountain stream I took, which I think I wrote about).

We got to the airport and had to wait for a vet to arrive.

Why a vet?

To throw out the mneat and stuff, since 'we cannot allow this stuff into Russia.'

While we waited I decided to ask Refoel if he ever put on Tefillin. "No" was his answer. So I took out mine, and asked if he was interested in doing it.

"In the street?"

"If you'd like, we can put it on in the car."

"No, I am a proud Jew. Let's do Tefillin outside."

So for my first time in Russia, and first time I have ever seen in Russia, a Jew put on Tefillin in public.

Then we went inside, where we had to open our luggage to be scrutinized by the vet.

He was a big Russian, looked like a Cossack.

He started off by ranting about how we weren't allowed any food into Russia, and we would have to pay a fne.

But Chayale spoke to him, and calmed him down. She explained to him about kosher, and told him to be nice to us.

Surprisingly he agreed, and not only let us take in all the non-rotten meat (which was alot), but also let us get away with no fne whatsoever, even for overwheight luggage.

Most of the food survived and are now in our freezer.

A day at the doctor in Stavropol

I think the proper thing to do before I get to the doctor part of this is tell you about our trip home.

While in Montreal I had nursed a bad strept (or is it strep?) back to health, and just before I left Morristown to return home, it returned.

I staked my claim that it was bad, but there was no time anyway to go to the doctor.

We got to the airport a little late, and had to sort things out.

Basically, our travel agent (may no one use his services) has screwed us over. We had bought tickets to Moscow online (complicated story), and we payed him to get us tickets from Moscow to Mineralniy Voda, the closest normal airport.

He was doing three things at once, so he made it on the wrong date. Then, when we discovered this, he made us pay for all the changes as though it were our fault... and didn't even connect it to the New York-Moscow flight, meaning we would have to transfer all our 7 pieces of luggage from one terminal to the next in Moscow and recheck in (and pay overwheight again), all whilst lugging our two kids along.

At the airport we were the last to check in, and rushed through it. The ticket counter lady was really nice and friendly, and she organized that our luggage will go straight to Min Voda, which was a relief.

We had a new theory for Miriam. Usually she gets cranky and bad throughout the flight. This time we decided to let her be until she falls asleep, and not try to do it on our terms. It worked, and she fell asleep for the entire flight, a miracle of red-sea-splitting porportions.

Chaim also pretty much slept through the flight, which was good.

It was our year anniversary from going on shlichus, and our 3 year anniversary since we married. We exchanged gifts on the plane.

Finally, we landed in Moscow. We stood by the plane demanding our double stroller, since otherwise we'd be carrying the kids around. We ran to the domestic transfer desk (located all the way across the entire airport) with the kids, only to be told that we had to buy Chaim a ticket, since our TRAVEL AGENT in America forgot to do so.

So we had to clear customs, find a counter and get the ticket. We then exchanged terminals, went through security again, and with them announcing our name already over the loudspeaker, were told that the bought ticket wasn't registered in their system.

Luckily the lady at the desk got on our case, bumping in front of an entire lineup at the Aeroflot ticket counter, and we were the last people on the plane.

Naturally, all our seats were far away from each other, so they upgraded us to business class.

Peeking into first class, in Russia they ACTUALLY HAVE PAINTINGS ON THE WALLS of the plane! And people are literally sinking into couches and stuff.

It was like being on a flying Louvre.

We landed in Min Voda, only to find out that our luggage was still in Moscow.

We were told that we'd have to fly to Moscow to get it back, but then thankfully they were sent to Min Voda. In an hour we will iy"h pick it up. All our many pounds of meat, cheese and fish are probably ruined.

Meanwhile, when we got back, all of us were sick. We had endured a gruelling 4 hour ride on a 'gazelle' (mini-bus with no shocks), a trip that should normally take an hour and a half.

My strep had returned full swing, so we booked an appointment with the doctor in the medicine center, considered the3 classiest place in Stavropol, and only a block away.

We have connections there since the owner of the private center is a Jew. His daughter, who heads one huge department, is a good friend of Chayale's, as is his grand-daughter.

Anyway, I went to the doctor with my secretary, who would be needed for translation purposes.

The Stavropol center of medicine, which is the largest and most exclusive medicine center of the city, is run by a member of the community. His daughter heads one department, and his grand-daughter, a student who speaks sluent English, is a friend of Chayale's.

Therefore we are totally hooked up there, and in Russia, being connected means everything. Like you can find a janitor who can't go anywhere or do anything getting the best Vodka in the city for free because he knows the manager of the local store, or something like that.

Anyway, I will not describe the entire procedure of the super upper-class medicine center (which is about the equivalent of the Harlem Hospital emergency room in efficiency and classiness).

The doctors office was kind of large, with two doctors, one in front of a computer taking notes the entire time.

The one who dealt with me looked a little like an alien from a homemade video, being that she had a flashlight wrapped around her head with some silver foil thing. The flashlight, instead pointing toward my mouth like it does in America, rather shone toward her forehead where there was a massive silver reflector, so she can see inside my entire mouth (and probably my lungs and stomach too).

She started by asking me a bunch of questions. And by 'bunch' I mean like somewhere around the number 700. Meanwhile, the computer doctor was typing my answers furiously.

The questions included:

"Do you have elephantitis?"
"At what age exactly did you hit puberty?"
"Did you ever marry with a mammoth?"

The only questions they forgot were:

"Have you been to Chernobyl?"
and
"Did you pack these bags yourself and did you watch them at all times?"

When the interrogation finished, the check-up started. And boy was it primitive (but unfortunately without witch doctors).

First she checked my nose. She put a tiny gauze pad under my left nostril and asked me to hold my right nostril shut and breathe in and out from my left one.

She watched the fluttering gauze pad with interest, and the other lady furiously jotted down notes into the computer ("His right exhalement blew the gauze 15 nanometers further than the left one").

Then she checked my ears. Standard stuff. She peered through that black telescope doctors have and muttered stuff in Russian as the other lady assaulted the keyboard.

She then reached for the matches on the table (yes, among the doctor equipment on the table was a box of matches).

I quickly cracked a nervous joke about how I need my beard to be a Rabbi, and then watched as she lit one of those things that are put under hot food at simchas.

She then took a mirror, and stuck it to the end of a stick (how primitive can you get?), and HELD THE MIRROR OVER THE FIRE. As she turned it over and over atop the flame as though it were a hot dog, she asked me to open my mouth and stick out my tongue.

She was a slick one. As soon as my tongue popped out she grabbed it with her hand (protected from germs and shomer negiah issues by a gauze pad). Then she stuck the sizzling mirror into my throat. It burned so I tried to jump back, but she had a good grip on my tongue.

"I am never coming back," I thought at this point, but didn't say it, partially because I couldn't, since my tongue was being yanked.

Finally she finished checking my throat, and decided to test my hearing. And so (I kid you not) she went to the other side of the room and asked me to block one ear. Then she covered her mouth and started whispering words that I had to repeat back to her.

I don't mean to brag, but I got every single word correctly. And without boasting, let me say that I did 100% with both ears.

I half expected her to then walk into the next room and start whispering words, to test the decibel level of my ears, but thank G-d she didn't.

Then they printed out the subscription, and it had a total of NINE MEDICINES!!!!@#$%%$#@!!

One was for my 'ear problem' (go figure).

On the way to the apteka (pharmacy), we narrowed them down to 3.

Now I must never, ever get sick again.

Ever!

At the zoo

Yesterday was our last complete day in America. As a matter of fact, in only a couple of hours our flight back to Stavropol begins, and we have 7 suitcases ready and packed by the door.

Since the 'tzimtzum', as they call it (meaning: since Leviev's funding slowed down), the network established to get Shluchim in Russia kosher meat and milk stopped.

In the past, we would call Or Avner headquarters in Moscow, make our request (usually 90 kilos of chicken and 2 large boxes of long-life milk every 3 months or so) and they would send it to us and take the price off our salary. A simple and efficient plan.

But now things are different. Our ginormous freezer in Stavropol is almost bare, and there is no way to get meat. So this time we have packed lots of meat. Another shame, since the price for Kosher (Lubavitch shchita) meat in the US sky-rocketed.

Anyway, yesterday we finally managed to get to a zoo. It cost 15 dollars to go to turtleback zoo in New Jersey and barely anyone was there. Miriam ran around delighted. Squealing at the eagles, scared at the snakes (she even fell off a chair), and in awe of the horses (we couldn't get her to leave the horses).

It was a fun way to end our time in America, but it's a relief to be going back home.

Now if only we had all the papers for permanent residency.

We lost a great one

So much has been written about the attacks on Chabad of Mumbai that I don't think there is much more I could write.

Like many others I was glued to the computer trying to find out news. A Tehillim lay open in front of me and I would say a kapitul every so often confident that Rabbi Holtzberg and his family were going to be released.

After all, haven't we heard all the Farbrengens? the ones where the Mashpia tells us all that 'no shliach of the Rebbe has ever been harmed on his shlichus because shlucho shel odom kemoso'?

So what does this mean now? does this mean that all shluchim are vulnerable? is the magic of 'shlucho shel odom kemoso' over? for those of us living in 'dangerous' areas (and Stavropol is listed as one to US travelers, aside from the fact that down the block from us 2 Chechnyans killed some people), do we now leave our posts? or beef up security? do we hide? run?

The answer of course is NO WAY! Particularly in Russia, where we are out there to give them Jewish pride. 9/11 showed us that NOWHERE is safe. Not Manhattan, not the middle of Pennsylvania. So we DO beef up security, but we don't stop. We stand proud.

And we are proud of the victims we mourn. From what I hear, he was a great one. Someone that impressed even the Gerrer Chassidim and Satmar Chassidim with the breadth of his learning.

We need Moshiach. And this is why all us shluchim are out there. So he will come.

And we won't stop and hide.

Photos from the kinus

This is last years controversial photo of Rabbi Sholom Ber Estrin and myself:



This year we again stood in the exact same spot next to each other, and made sure not to stand out in any way: (except that I was wearing Canadiens boxers)



Our table at the banquet. I sat next to Shua Naparstek and Yisroel Bernath, both Rabbis (naturally). Next year iy"h we will each have our own table with layleaders:



This final photo is an interesting one. As I was wandering with Dovid Russ, we bumped into a couple of Chassidim (not Lubavitch... perhaps skver or something) and had a very nice conversation. I think they were brought down as lay-leaders. They said it was their first kinus and were very impressed and touched. They took a photo with us as well, and here it is: (from http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=52227)

What a kinus can do

Last year I caused quite a stir when I posed for a friend at the photo part of the kinus (international conference of shluchim), and it made it into the (New York) daily news.

So this year, undaunted, I made my way up to the EXACT SPOT I was last year with the EXACT SAME friend I posed with (what brevity!), only this time we smiled all the time (including when I smashed my funny bone into the metal back of the bleachers).

I am the guy on the top right of the picture (with the scarf).

The kinus, for us Russian shluchim, is something extra special. For some reason we are the pride of Chabad. I mean, they will be announcing the roll call, and passing through the shluchim of like Dubai, Cuba, South Korea and Lebanon, but only when they reach Russia, do they make a big event out of it.

Perhaps it's because Lubavitch originated there, but some guys have a harder time than us, in my opinion.

On a side note, from reading the Achdus shluchim forum and thwe population figures of Jews world-wide by country, I have compiled a short list of still-available countries to be a 'head shliach'.

Dubai (Pro: no need to fundraise in America ever again. Con: the cost to ransom your remains is exhorbitant).
Andorra (a tiny country between France and Spain where there are some Jews)
Gibraltar (Just noticed it wasn't mentioned by R' Kotlarsky. Why isn't there a shliach there?)
Mongolia (there is actually a community there)
Iceland (They even have a shul. But read from a paper Torah)
Phillipines (Some Jews in Manila)

See? told you I have alot of spare time.

Anyway, back to the kinus.

This year I made the motzei shabbos event, and boy was it inspiring. The banquet was also fantastic. My favorite moment came when the Israeli ambassador to somewhere thanked an Argentinian Rabbi who saved his daughters life (you had to be there).

This year there were two 'sessions' for the Russian shluchim and one farbrengen.

The first class focused on economic issues. I'd write in detail but I don't think this is the proper place to do so. The second was with George Rohr who promised to continue supporting us by giving us (at minimum) our salaries. He got a standing ovation for that (and who wouldn't?). At the end of the session, we all had a chance to personally thank him for about 20 seconds.

When I found myself in front of him I thanked him and gave him a gorgeous photo book Chayale made, with all the best photos of stuff we have done this past year in Stavropol. Inside was a letter with a plan (Chayale wants to start) to make some kind of Shabbos candles program going in memory of his mother.

He wished me Hatzlacha, and as I headed out I saw Rabbi Lazar perusing through the pictures.

The kinus gave me a boost, and I will return to Stavropol ready to try out many new ideas.

We leave in a week.

No beaurocracy for a change

It's always a pain getting documents together for anything... Particularly the Russian government.

We have spent the past month working our and you will have to excuse my very coarse language TUCHISSES off trying to get the following documents we need in order to make permanent residency (and don't get me started with what we had to do to get our new visas, suffice it to say that some licking of a Russian security guards toes took place).

- All birth certificates (inculding Chayale's original from England).
- Two copies of our marriage license (to go in BOTH our files). Thank G-d we aren't polygamists.
- A police report (with photo and fingerprints) of every adult.
- All those documents notarized.
- Then internationally notarized (apostille in the US, authentication in Canada).
- Then everythng translated into Russian by an official translator.
- And stamped by the Russian embassy, verifying the translation.

Of course after this must take several blood tests to prove that we aren't on drugs, and don't have AIDS, and then, and then, AND THEN...

And then maybe we will be allowed to get permanent residency, since only 1000 people are allowed each year in each province.

But it's worth a shot.

And everything took time, money, and errors.

Except for today. I was up to the part called 'authentication', which meant I had to take the notarized documents to Ottawa.

So I traveled 2 hours each way to the Canadian department of authentication and other long words, and expected:

- To pay alot of money
- To wait 10 working days for it to arrive
- To lick at least one toe

Anyway, in the end, I walked in. A lady says, "give me the papers and sit." 30 seconds later she comes out and hands me the papers back, stamped... all for free!

The world amazes me sometimes.

The end of the Kovalev story

Update: we are in Montreal, which is why we haven't updated the website in a while, since there isn't much to report here with regards to Stavropol news.

However before we left, I (Zvi writing) had another meeting with Alex Kovalev.

It was thanks to a great idea by Chayale.

Since the photographer at the Torah event came at a very cheap price, and did a great job taking high quality shots, why don't we hire him before we leave back, and take our own stock photos of all our Jewish items, so we don't have to search the entire internet next time we make a brochure like we had to for the Torah event?

To take this a step further, why not bring in 6 of the community's cutest kids to be in some of the pictures, like this we have high quality shots of kids FROM OUR COMMUNITY doing Mitzvos, so on our next Chanuka flyer we send out, there will be a local kid in a beautiful shot.

We had one day to organize it, and we managed to do just that.

Except for the Torah. Half hour before the photo-shoot I rushed to the Jewish center, and grabbed the Torah. Now I needed a way back, so I called everyone I knoew with cars, but they were all out of the city. It was raining, and I wasn't too keen on taking the Torah into a taxi with someone I didn't know, so I called Alex Kovalev (a Jewish cab driver I met), and for the first time in many tries, he was in the area.

He came quickly, and I showed him the Torah, and we spoke about it on the way home. I also explained him again about Hashgacha Protis, and finally he agreed to bring his family to a holiday, provided I give him advance notice.

As we pulled up to our apartment, he said, "by the way, I have something interesting to tell you."

"Go ahead" I said.

"Remember last time I told you that I have a sister who lives in the Czech republic? well she just gave birth to a son. Now in Czech, the tradition is to name the first son after the father, so everyone knew that the boy would be named 'Yarik', which is the name of her husband. However, when she arrived at the office of registry, she just blurted out that she wants his name to be 'David', even though she never knew anyone named David (note: David as 'Dovid', not David with a Day-vid)."

Alex then told me, "Strange Rabbi, David is a Jewish name, and I had never told her that she was a Jew!"