Pictures we took from Dovid and Chavi's wedding

Video: Chaim Shimshon climbs over me

Taken in our old apartment. And finally, FINALLY we signed for an expensive but very nice apartment. We'll be living on top of Shternie and Zalmy Samama. More pictures tomorrow iy"h (after roller hockey).

Perhaps I should elaborate on the offer

Below, Viktoria and Chayale working in our apartment in Stavropol.


From all the comments of my last 'news post' telling me to take it (said three times by my east bloc friends too), I think that without going into too many details I'll explain what it is and why I think it isn't for me.

The offer:

A teaching (Yiddishkeit) shlichus for a prestigious shliach (who has a record of throwing out several shluchim under him). I'd also be expected to bring more families (through the children) to the Chabad House.

What I think:

I've tried teaching, and aside from the fact that I'm not really good at it (I'm more of a guy who 'hung out with my class'), I also hate preparing classes, since you spend an hour working on something that you (and the children) will have forgotten most of by as soon as you've finished teaching the class.

Also, I'm reluctant to work for someone with a record of chucking people who 'threatened him by being successful' or 'didn't do a good job' or 'didn't fit in'.

There are several other reasons which I cannot write, since they have to do with the location, which I don't particularly like for certain reasons.

Perhaps more offers will come forward, but for now I'm writing in most of my spare time. Actually, I'm looking for a Litvishe guy my age with a good sense of humor to assist me in my writing and brainstorming. Lots of money potentially involved, so if any readers knows anyone, please email me.

Retro pictures - arrival from Russia - a trip to the childrens museum

Smart woman

We've been here two months and I've been aching to post pictures. But our plug attaching our camera to a computer is in Russia!

Chayale just discovered that we can plug our memory card into my parents basement computer, and she uploaded EVERYTHING! So I'll post a few here.


Miriam plays in the grass.


Chayale and Miriam on the slide in the park.


Miriam posing in classy gear.



More to come!

Curveball

I can't go into details, but I just got my first offer for a very good shlichus somewhere else. The Rabbi actually called me!

I probably won't take it, but it serves as an ego boost.

Today we have another dilemma. Chava Malloy (who is basically family and stays at my parents house) is returning frmo California and we have to leave her room and find somewhere else to stay (the basement?).

We may have found an apartment, though there's another couple 'in line' for it before us.

Nisyonos

Caution: emotional post ahead.

Why? Why does Hashem keep doing this to us? Why do we wind up in all these dramatic situations?

If I were an observer watching the events of my life, I would have laughed my brains out already. Murphy's law is the norm when it comes to our life. Just when things seems like they can't get any worse, they do.

We moved into a basement a month ago, since nothing else was available. You see, in Montreal, all leases end on July 1st, which is when everyone moves into their new apartments. I don't understand the system, but it makes it difficult for people coming into town before that time.

We knew that we had to leave by the end of the month, since the owners had sold the entire house, including the basement, to someone else who didn't want tenants. The owner, while a decent guy who helped us, did it for the money and now that our contract is up wants us out.

Chayale spent the entire month, and particularly the last week, franticly searching for apartments. Nothing was available in our price range with enough rooms, except for one basement on Barclay, which is the equivalent of living in Afghanistan except without the warm desert air.

Finally Chayale found an apartment. Expensive but perfect. We called our Mashpia and he told us to go for it. This was a last minute sorta thing. So we called the landlord and took money out of the bank, but he had already prmised it to someone else.

So tonight I will be up late packing and shipping the stuff to my parents house where we will be staying until we find somewhere better.

Why us? can't we lead a normal life? it's so frustrating!

Think good and it will be good

There is another chance. Rabbi Lazar has a meeting set up with the FSB director (and before you ask... I have no idea when it will be). So my prayers are getting more intense once again.

We spent Shavuos in Morristown with Chayale's family and had a really nice time. On the way home we stopped off in upstate New York to have a barbeque dinner with the Silbersteins, our comrades in exile from their shlichus in Vladviostok. The Silbersteins actually are the reason we moved to Russia. We called them while contemplating whether or not to move to Russia, and they convinced us to go.

At dinner, Yisroel farbrenged with me. Coincidentally, Yossi Marazov, Rabbi and fellow American Shliach in Ulyanovsk, Russia called, and we chatted with him for a little while too.

Over some beer, Yisroel told me something interesting. I may not have all the details correctly but the gyst of it is: a couple of weeks ago he learnt a Sicha, choosing one of the Rebbe's talks randomly (Likkutei Sichos Chelek Lamed Vov, Parshas Shmois, di ershtin Sicha, ois hey if I remember correctly).

He was shocked at how relevant the Rebbe's words were, particularly when he didn't choose the Sicha. We sat down in front of a computer, pulled the page from otzer770.com and learnt what the Rebbe says.

The Rebbe explained that the Chassidic saying 'tracht gut vet zein gut' (think good and it will be good) is a literal thing. And it doesn't mean that the result is already there and the 'right thing to do' is to think good, rather it's a cause and effect. In other words, if you think good, then it will be good. You have the power to change the reality, even though the work takes place from a spiritual point of view, and that is the essence of 'bitachon' and 'emunah' (trust in G-d).

The Rebbe continues and writes that even though you might think that according to the natural order of things, it is IMPOSSIBLE for there to be a change for the better, nonetheless the spiritual positive energy you create by thinking good makes G-d reply by thinking good about you and changing the physical for the better.

The Rebbe went on to stress that even if the person doesn't DESERVE to be helped, still just by 'trachting gut' it will be good.

Incidentally, I read over the Sicha, and the entire Sicha makes its point without the necessity of that Ois (those words). Perhaps we were meant to be reading it.

So my new resolution is to think good. I KNOW we will be allowed to return to Stavropol and this will all be behind us.

You hear me, Hashem?

An unknown kiddush hashem

As I wrote before, I have been working doing data entry for a stamp seller.

Today I was putting in some information and something bothered me about a certain stamp (pictured above) which hails from Sierra Leone, a small African country. As I read the biblical passages on the side, it hit me.

They spelled G-d the way I just spelled it! (Gee dash dee). Only orthodox Jews spell Hashem's name that way (because we don't what power it has, and don't want to wind up throwing G-d into the garbage. If it's spelled differently, it's like a sorta loophole and you can do what you want with it).

So what is it doing on a stamp from SIERRA LEONE?

The answer is that a Lubavicther in Crown Heights (and old friend of my Dad from Montreal) prints stamps for many countries around the world. I guess he couldn't handle writing G-ds name down, even on a stamp. What a kiddush hashem!

By the way, the stamp pictured can be found and bought. Google 'stamp Sierra Leone natures wisdom'.

Hey! I was mentioned!

In http://yamlive.blogspot.com/2009/05/interview-with-yammer-boruch-tauber-aka.html that link.

Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

When Hashem closes one door...

Arriving in America, and discovering that we were in limbo had us in Morristown for a month, trying to fundraise, and then find a job. It didn't work out, so we came to Montreal, where we had a disappointing first week before finally finding an apartment.

Then we davened hard. I needed a temporary job, and tried everything. I even have been working for my mother, cleaning out the backyard. Hashem answered in a very weird way.

I made an appointment with Coho (a job-helping agency from and for Outremont Chassidim), and met with a woman there, who told me that they only had one job available, data entry for 10 dollars an hour. She also helped me write a resume, but then she emailed it to the wrong email address, and deleted it off her computer and email.

Desperate, I called and met with a Mr. Davidovici, a sweet little Litvishe man who sells stamps. I took the job, and spent the first week working for him.

I'm in my second week now and it's been a blessing. In most of my past jobs, I have worked with or for people who make me lose my faith in humanity. Finally here is a decent elderly guy who is so laid back and to be honest 'cute', and a mentsch to boost, that even though the work is boring, I'm actually somewhat enjoying it.

At the end of the first week he walked over to me and said, "usually my worker doesn't know computers and isn't quick to catch on, but I can see you know what you're doing. I'm paying you 14 an hour."

For anyone who has ever made fun of Litvaks (or Misnagdim), I wish they would have seen that. In general I actually find most Litvaks to be more honest than any other denomination.

Anyway, I've also been receiving call after call and offer after offer to write. Screenplays in particular. And not just screenplays of their choosing, it's mostly people (and well-known frum filmmakers too) telling me, "Zvi, you've got a name. Write whatever you want and we'll produce it and you'll make money."

Lots of doors have opened, and I will be walking through them. Not all of them, just ones that I see the people are serious and willing to partially pay me beforehand. But I will write nonetheless. I already have ideas brewing.

I also want to go to school to study screenwriting. Perhaps I should take a writing course too over the summer. If I'm gonna be doing this, I should do it right.

A sad email

We sent the news to Stavropol. We want to write a nice goodbye letter - only positive, nothing political whatsoever. Like saying how it affected us, and we know that what happened was something special, and all the times we had, all the projects and work and classes and shabboses we did went somewhere, and telling people to keep doing torah and mitzvos, and continue their Jewish heritage. Finish off with my contact information, and the idea of doing a class online. I am accepting advice for what to put in to the letter, and I must give Chaim Danzinger a huuuuge thank you for his input.

We received our first response, from the Davidov family. I welled up with tears reading the simple Russian they wrote. Here it is, translated:

Shalom Zvi and Chayale!!!!!! Today I was at Natasha's for school, and read your letter. Our family is extremely hurt. We are simply horrified that you won't return any more!!!! But we hope that we can remain friends through Skype.

Chayale, you know that we have grown fond of you and consider both of you family. You are our Rabbi and Rabbanit. We are ready to help you in any way if anything is necessary. You can rely on us, for we were your friends not because of money or work, simply as a religious Jewish family.

If any help with transportation of things is necessary, you only need to say the words and we will be there to help...

The Davidovs

A punch in the stomach

It's over.

Yesterday I received an email from Rabbi Lazar telling us to move on. Prime Minister Medvedev told the chief Rabbi that he had spoken to the head of the FSB and there was nothing more he can do. Other Rabbis need not fear, according to Medvedev, but we may not return.

For many of you readers, this means the end of reading the blog, as it will for now be alot more boring, based on our personal lives. I may even reopen the blog.

There are some final things to look forward to, such as Chayale's trip back (iy"h) and the goodbyes she will make, the journey of our stuff to return to Montreal, perhaps a final emotional letter to my community pleading with them to find a decent leader and stand up for themselves, and I'll iy"h repost some of the more inspiring stories of things that happened to us while we were on shlichus to Stavropol, Russia, a place that I will very much miss.

To all of you, thanks for all your support through our shlichus, and the time we were stuck in limbo.

Now it's time to figure out what to do with our lives (once again). Should I go to school, or back on shlichus?

Hockey cures stress

I've known it for a while... I played 3 games this week and with each one my mouth felt better. Now it is perfectly back to normal, except that I'm sore all over from all the roller-hockey.

We've started playing every friday at 3. This week some college hotshots came by and tried to kick us off the court, saying that our players are 'too young' and they'll cream us (my nephew Menachem Mendel Myhill, 15 years old, plays along with some friends). Finally they agreed to make 3 teams, 2 would be 'their' temas, and one would be us (8 players). We'd play 4 on 4. Anyway, we creamed them and it made my week. They barely even got shots on goal. We shocked ourselves and shocked everyone watching - as some yeshiva kids beat these super-cool college guys.

Oh, I finally got a job - sorta. I'm doing data entry for a stamp collector and dealer in Montreal. Pays 10 bucks an hour. And Dovid Russ helped me find a good job, which is sporadic. It's Hashgacha work, and pays well (250 dollars a day!). So far I haven't received a call.

I'm also writing.

Of course, if anyone hears of anything, please let me know. I'm still looking for a temp job for now.

And the reason for the lack of posting is over - Miriam will be going to preschool so we finally have time for ourselves :)

No news yet from Stavropol :(

Miriam's view

So yesterday I couldn't fimd my normsl Yarmulka, and for the first time time in about 2 years put on one of my crazy ones, the gold one with giraffes on the side.

Miriam looked at me and said, "Tatty's wearing a crown!"

It's official: I'm stressed out

The right side of my jaw started bothering me two days ago, and I assumed it was a toothache. It kept me up two nights ago, it kept me up last night.

I went to the dentist, and after doing work on my teeth and finding several cavities etc. I asked him why I was (and still am) in so much pain.

"Stress." He said.

Basically, somehow I have knots in my jaw, and now I have to do these facial exercizes invented by Jim Carrey, and apply a hot pad onto my jaw every 20 minutes. I also should rest and take lots of Advil.

Apparently this is something he sees alot of, and he said I'll probably have this problem throughout my life whenever I get stressed out.

This is the first time in my life that I've been diagnosed with stress, and it sucks. My life IS quite stressful. I wish I knew if we were returning to Russia soon.

I am an impatient man.

Hard work pays off

Today was a good day.

After helping my father clean up the backyard, cut down a tree and start building a shed, I dropped by our Montreal apartment for a few moments.

As I was leaving, Miriam called out: "I love you, Tatty."

That's the first time I received such spontaneous words from my daughter, and it completely melted my heart. I left with a push in my step.

This evening, I put Miriam to bed. As I was singing her a Niggun (lying next to her), she lifted her head off the pillow, pulled her pacifier from her mouth, and to my surprise planted a kiss on my cheek (first time, too). Then she lay back on her pillow and whispered, "I love you, Tatty."

I could eat her for breakfast, lunch and supper.

And even without any ketchup.

A day at the park

The family

Chaim Shimshon

Chayale and Audra

Miriam with Audra's kids (Ryan, Mason and Jake)

Photos by Audra.

Online class for exiled Shliach

In the comments of a previous post, my brother Benny suggested that I try to organize online Torah classes with my community. Apparently that is what the Shliach of Cuba does or something tothat effect.

Anyway, before Shabbos I wrote to Anya Davidova, a very active member of the community and leader of most of the young people, and I asked if she would be interested in helping to organize an online Torah class.

Well, tonight I rceived her response, and it was a positive one.

So now the question is: what should I teach?

Last post was deleted...

Due to a misunderstanding I had. Everything remains the same...